Tag Archives: winnipeg

UnBurger – A Fortunate Misnomer

Posted on by zollipop
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It used to be that every time we drove by UnBurger my darling brown husband would cluck softly and gently shake his head.  I imagine his elderly Indian aunties make a similar noise when they drive by a burger restaurant in Bangalore, but for very different reasons.

My husband will solemnly acknowledge his Hindhu birthright, but when he visits India he beelines for the golden arches and devours the sacred cow in the form of a Maharaja-Mac.

So the UnBurger clucking arose more from his concern that the ‘Un’ implied meatlessness – would the burgers contain beef, or would he be tricked into eating a cleverly sauced reconfiguration of tofu on a bun?  A recent vegetarian burger experience left him with irreparable psychological scars.  He resisted UnBurger for a long time.

I admire UnBurger as much for its concept as for its food – they emphasize locally sourced ingredients and offer plenty of healthy options.  Mercifully, the vegetarian options do not contain stealth tofu.  The menu is focused but whimsical and allows for plenty of personal customization.  Everything is cooked fresh to order by college kids who actually give a damn.

The beef burgers, which can be swapped out for the more local and less fatty bison, range from neat-and-tasty to rich-and-sloppy.  Chicken fillets are brined before grilling, meaning they stay plump.  The Tropic Thunder (with chicken, pineapple, and chipotle aioli) is my personal fave. In fact, the carnivorous options are so tasty that my husband actually volunteered to try the vegetarian burgers, and neither the Great Falafel or the Bella Mushroom burger disappointed us.

You can choose a standard Signature bun, multi-grain bread, or lettuce wrap for your patty.  They’re all good, but I personally dislike the mechanics of the multi-grain option – the toppings squirt out the other side when you take a bite and the blunt edges are aesthetically off-putting. The fries are fresh-cut and can be dunked into a range of creamy sauces.

The salad sides are fine.  Just fine.  I’d stick with the Edamame.  Everything else seems a bit thick: the Caesar dressing is heavy, the Asian slaw needs a daintier cut, and the Hal Johnson and Joanne McLeod 8-grain energy salad is on the dense side. Body Break!

However, these minor criticisms are weightily offset by everything else that’s great about UnBurger.

And the final opinion from my darling? “Un-burger – great burgers, terrible name.”

And I think my brown burger-connoisseur is right.  The name is misleading – these aren’t UnBurgers, they’re everything burgers should be.  It’s McDonald’s that should rebrand.
Unburger on Urbanspoon

Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is…

Posted on by zollipop
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Here’s my two cents on 529 Wellington:

Without a doubt,  it is the toniest steakhouse in Winnipeg.  An steak will set you back around $40, and since all the sides are à la carte, you’re looking at around $140 per head for a full steak dinner (including appetizer, entree, dessert, wine, tax, tip), or, fourteen thousand cents.

But I don’t think they’re trying to rip anyone off, as evidenced by their very reasonable lunch prices.  The French Onion soup is a complete meal for $9.00; for that you get a swirl of slow-cooked onions hiding under a thick raft of cheese and croutons, topped table side with port.  Or, you can get a Cajun Chicken Caesar for $15.00, which is only three dollars more than what you would pay at Applebees, but easily three times the quality.  The lunch sandwiches and burgers are uncomplicated, tasty, and appropriately priced.

529 Wellington

So what are you paying for when you drop $300 on a dinner for two at 529 Wellington?  Well, prime beef for one – the higher price is reflected in the aging and the marbling.  You’re also paying for an on-site wine expert, meticulously sourced ingredients, the attention of knowledgeable waitstaff, and the pleasure of sitting in a lavishly restored 1912 mansion. You don’t have to raise your voice to have a conversation with your fellow diners, which in my aging mind is always worth a few bucks.

Apart from bovine indulgences, 529 Wellington offers a top-notch seafood selection.  You can say ‘hi’ to your lobster before it hits the pot.  The shrimp cocktail is on steroids, and the same shrimp sauteed in garlic parsley butter is swoon-worthy. I was underwhelmed on one visit by my Ahi Tuna – when you’re serving only a naked, seared chunk of tuna on a plate, the seasoning has to be right.  On a recent visit to the mercifully relaxing lounge we indulged in a farm-fresh tomato mozzarella salad, along with poutine with foie gras. I paid doubly for that meal – once with my Visa, and again when I looked at my ass in the mirror the next morning.

Are these restaurants for everyone, every time? No, definitely not.  I usually feel a little nauseous when the bill comes. And I must mention that there are Winnipeg restaurants like Segovia and Deseo where you will get an equally excellent meal in a refined environment, but for half the price.

So is it reasonable for any restaurant to charge $300 for dinner?  Maybe, if the price is justified by the quality. Like with anything else, if you’re going to ask a diner to put their money where there mouth is, you better do so too.

529 Wellington on Urbanspoon

Mmmmmmangoes at The Forks! For Real!

Posted on by zollipop
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In my last post on the produce stand at The Forks, I mentioned that I didn’t think they should be displaying mushy mangoes, shrunken kiwis, and/or Kraft Dinner above local tomatoes.  Then I received a bunch of comments, some of which were too zesty to publish, calling me all sorts of things that kinda hurt my feelings.

I spent I while working on writing stinging rebuffs, but the process was damaging to my karma. Eventually, I decided to just publish these photos, say “Thank You”, take a small amount of credit even if I don’t deserve it, and move on.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Pardon the blurry/overexposed photos, I was on the move.

You see, it appears someone is not only listening, but open to change.  I revisited Casa Bella yesterday, fearful that I would be recognized and pelted with a dessicated tropical fruit, but it would appear that the problems I highlighted last week were, ahem, solved. In fact, all that produce was looking at least as pert as at the grocery store, and there were some great looking local lima beans.  Nary an overripe mango, kiwi, or banana in sight.

And when the produce I see gets me thinking ‘dinner’, I start appreciating all the other vendors at The Forks even more. Suddenly the cinnamon buns from Tall Grass Prairie Bakery smell irresistible, and the local pickles from Grass Roots Prairie Kitchen bring back fond memories of my grandmother’s pantry.  I am torn on a snack: a dosa from A Taste of Sri Lanka, a roti from Bindy’s, a hot dog from Skinner’s, or perogies from Yudyta’s?

Or should I just grab some sparkling wine from Fenton’s, go home and sit in the gazebo with my wonderful husband, and raise a toast to that lowly rutabaga who started it all?

(Confused by this post?  Click here and then here and then here and then here)

The Forks Market: Keeping Zolli Humble

Posted on by zollipop
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I was getting all set to proclaim myself a hero, a god-like figure perhaps, when a basket full of shrivelled kiwis shocked me back to reality.  Around this time last year, I had marched into the Forks Management office, armed with a dessicated rutabaga, some gonad analogies and a camera. The nice young lady I spoke with responded neutrally to my concerns.  A year went by.  The produce continued to suck.

So imagine my shock and awe when I walked into the Forks to see that Tutti Frutti, that purveyor of rotten food so vividly chronicled here and here, was Tutti Gonzo! In its place: Casa Bella.  The produce looked great!  The staff seemed to be arranging it, picking it over, just like in a proper market!!!  The meat at the affiliated counter looked fresh.  There was some artfully displayed, colorful antipasto – a wise choice if considering perishability.

Casa Bella

I started imagining how I would take all the credit for the change, fresh off my success from being recognized by Saveur. Were the ‘powers that be’ reading my blog?  Is waving around a dried up vegetable in someone’s office actually impactful?   Would they erect a statue of me the junction of our two mighty rivers? I would collaborate with the sculptor – posing with a basket of root vegetables thrust towards the sky. Would we decide to minimize the size of my nose, or maximize it for full Grecian goddess effect?

But most importantly, could I finally start shopping for food at the Forks?  Anything seemed possible, the sky was mine.  So today, armed with a shopping list, I drove down to The Forks.

I was crestfallen when I neared the fruit vendor and heard a man say with an East Indian accent, “No, no, no, my goodness, a mango should be full … plump even!”.   I saw him gesturing like he was holding a D-cup between his two hands.  He and his friend walked past, shaking their heads at what passed for a mango in Winnipeg.

And so, my dreams of grandeur ended. Although the State of the Vendor is much better than it was last year, there is still room for improvement. They are definitely making some good efforts – there were some big baskets of local strawberries and BC cherries.  But why why why why why is there a row of Kraft dinner above the (empty) local tomato basket?  Why aren’t there big beautiful bags of our local Nature’s Harvest pasta there instead?  Do you really want me to buy coriander that is sitting in a tub of brown water? Did you not consider that if you purchase a massive bin of corn, it will start to wither before you can sell it all?

Who thinks this is a good idea?

Perfect for Vichyssoise

Local Tomatoes and Kraft Dinner

Yummy

Kiwis - Taking me back in time to that rutabaga that looked like Gandalf's scrotum

Please tell me these are plantains

The sales clerk saw me snapping photos, and taking me for a tourist, he started chatting with me about how he too owned a Canon.  And while I humoured him with reciprocated pleasantry, what I felt like doing was leaping on top of his counter, brandishing one of his mushy mangoes, and asking, “How could you dare make small talk with me when THIS is in my line of sight!!”. (I would froth at the mouth slightly for effect.)

Still working on it

Mmmmmmmangoes!!!!

In the final analysis, it looks like there is still some work to do. While it looked like The Forks was turning the corner at, “Keeping Life Delicious”, it’s possible that all they have done was Keep Zolli Humble. I would like to think that the former would have been a greater accomplishment.

(Note: since this post, further attempts have been made to keep Zolli humble in the form of strongly worded comments about ripe bananas, mangoes, and kiwis. I am content to respectfully disagree and stand by my post. Someone obviously took this post very personally – in the end, if that translates into better produce at The Forks, I am happy to say Mission Accomplished.  I am glad there are other people who are passionate about making the Forks into a true market.

Please don't try to tell me these are ripe. The one on the left is so mushy it has a dent in it.

I’ll be the first person to admit that I am not a chef or a farmer. I am a food consumer.  But I have travelled the world visiting its great markets, and I am a faithful buyer from Vic’s and Crampton’s. You just don’t see brown/rotting/shrivelled/overripe food there – ever – nor do you see it at St. Norbert’s Farmers Market or any of the great markets of the world. But the sad fact is that consumers will walk away for years if they visit a store and are unable to buy dinner because the quality is suboptimal, even once.)

That said, I have revised the post with some additional photos of the more handsome produce at Casa Bella in an attempt to balance off my reader’s concerns.  Thank you everyone for your comments – and Casa Bella owners – keep at it – you’re almost there.  Let’s just chalk this up to growing pains and move on. But please get rid of the Kraft Dinner.)

Dinner to go - good idea!

Good lookin' BC cherries

Local strawberries - nice!

Kawaii Crepe: Try Sawdust on the Floor Instead

Posted on by zollipop
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Credit: DefunktGourmet

As my darling husband and I exited Kawaii Crepe late one Saturday afternoon, the following excerpt from TS Eliot’s ‘The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock’ sprung to mind…

“Let us go then, you and I, 
When the evening is spread out against the sky 
Like a patient etherised upon a table; 
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets, 
The muttering retreats       
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels 
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells”

The poem came to mind not because Osborne Street was desolate (although it was), or because the hungover co-eds inside Kawaii Crepe appeared recently etherised (although they did), but more because I had just peeled a gummy blueberry off my sandal. I had got to thinking about how cleanliness plays into a restaurant’s appeal.

Eliot’s reference to gritty restaurants with sawdust on the floor contributed to the atmosphere of his poem – the verses go on to describe yellow smoke in drains, balding, soot, and other pictures of urban despair.  Equally, some restaurants intentionally scatter sawdust or peanut shells on the floor.  In days of yore this prevented damage to the hardwood, but in the modern age is more likely a deliberate calculation aimed at creating a ‘Days-of-Yore’ ambiance.

So were the designers of Kawaii Crepe trying to evoke a ‘Sticky Boreal’ environment around my table by scattering blueberries on the floor?  If so, they were aiming for ‘Monkey Carnage’ at the next table, where banana bits and peanuts were strewn about.  And across the aisle, perhaps they were attempting ‘Messy Mayan’, with little bits of bacon, oxidized avocado, shredded lettuce, and chorizo everywhere?  Unifying these disparate geographical themes, of course, was the ‘Grungy Paris’ motif, best realized by tiny little fragments of crepe in the creases of the red vinyl banquettes, on every table, and for continuity, in the washroom.  Adding to grimy effect were the aprons of the crepe cooks, which bore vivid testimony to the dozens of crepes which had gone before mine. Said cooks were also playing right into the schtick, acting the part with clever theatrical devices like coughing into one’s hand and then seamlessly moving into a ‘Chopping Tomatoes with Germy Hands’ scene.

My husband suggested that maybe I was being naive: could it be that such slovenliness wasn’t by design, and, in fact, the restaurant was filthy? So rather than talking about how great the crepes tasted, we spent the remainder of our meal estimating how many additional Kawaii Crepes they would need to sell per hour to justify hiring a full-time cleaner at minimum wage. (Answer: about three.)  Then we sanitized our hands and left.

The crepes were fine, and I might have even found them tasty if it weren’t for the environment.  Most of the diners didn’t appear to notice: the eatery was populated mainly by pairs of 20-somethings, some looking sheepishly at one another after an undoubtedly restless night, perhaps in a one-night cheap hotel, but more likely in a Roslyn Ave one-bedroom after locking eyes at the Toad.

Restaurants can get away with varying degrees of cleanliness, determined partially by the expectation they create for the diner.  A comfort-food bistro customer will tolerate a few more scuffs and crumbs than a patron of haute modernist white-toque cuisine, simply because the level of cleanliness is concordant with their expectations.  If your restaurant is dark, with wood banquettes, and deer heads mounted on the wall, some peanut shells on the floor will be just fine.  Conversely, if you have a crisp white eatery with a spartan decor and you are attempting to exalt fresh ingredients, you should probably hire someone to sweep the floor routinely.  The diner shouldn’t be able to find the fresh ingredients under their table.

Just sayin’.

Kawaii Crepe on Urbanspoon